THUMBS UP!
SUCCESS!!! I survived yesterday without scaring people! Haha. I actually got so many comments from my friends, encouraging me and telling me I was beautiful. It was so refreshing. Getting comments on my blog helped my confidence and they just pumped my spirits up! I know that one thing you need when you’re going through something hard is support. I want to thank everyone who hugged me and told me I was beautiful. I forgot how strong a simple hug can be. 
Today has been so-so. My face has broken out a little bit (understatement of the year lol). All I’ve wanted was make-up today. It’s really hard to hang out with people and walk through the dining hall without thinking they are staring at how horrible I look or at each little imperfection that I have. I guess it’s safe to say some days are better than others.
I’m not going to let it get me down though. I’m tired of worrying what people think of me on the outside. I’m tired of being self conscious about EVERYTHING. I’m tired of walking past people and wonder if my hair is messed up, if anything is jiggling, if what I’m wearing is ok, worried about tripping, etc. Girls (and guys too) you know what I’m talking about. I’M FED UP. Lol. This is not going to have reign in my life. This is why God wants me to do this. He wants me to take control, take the power back over these things that hold me back. I’m about to be real honest. Sometimes I don’t want to jump up and down when I worship because I’m scared about people laughing at the “fat girl jiggling.” Isn’t that horrible? I just want to cry thinking about it. I have let those stupid thoughts hold me back from showing my love for my God and possibly touching someone else. That’s how the enemy gets in: planting little thoughts in our minds, trying to take away our will. Well, NO MORE. I want my will back. How about you?
God brought back this scripture to me today:
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”
-Psalm 139:13-16 NIV
I cried when I read this (I cry a lot these days lol). I have forgotten the true beauty God has given me. Not beauty of the world: what you wear, how skinny you are, what’s on the outside. God created our inmost beings…wow. I’m just amazed. Let’s pray.
God..You created us. You made every intricate thing in our bodies, souls, and minds. How great You are. Give us strength to let go of these demons on our backs every moment of the day; taunting and telling us we’re not good enough. God, you made us more than good enough. Help us to see that. Help us to look in the mirror and see the beauty You created, not the lies the world tells us. God, help us grow closer to You and walk with You every day. With You, all things are possible. We love You, Lord, and praise You in advance for making us overcomers of our bondages. In Jesus name, Amen.
Jessica, wow.
I didn’t know you were doing this… till now actually.
I’m glad that I ran into you today before lunch, because now I can tell you:
I didn’t notice that you weren’t wearing makeup. You are so charismatic and happy, you made my smile brighter today. And, I’m smiling now as I read your blog. Keep it up!
I teared up a little bit when I read this. I’ve kinda been going through the same things and lately I feel the same way you said you feel about walking into the cafeteria and even worshiping. I’m also doing the fast and that’s one reason why I wanted to do it; I’m fed up and sick and tired of feeling this way when all I wanna do is worship and praise him without feeling self concious about the way other people see me. It’s time for me to take off the “mask” and let others see me the way God made me: fearfully and wonderfully, and in his image, and just the way I am! I hope it will get easier for all of us that are doing this and I just want to let you know that you are beautiful and to keep your head up and walk with confidence everywhere you go! Love you!!
Wow…i really admire you for this. Most people have too much pride to be that honest about their struggles, me included. Thank you so much for sharing that…it really blessed my heart. You are such a beautiful person, inside and out. And you are absolutely right about how the enemy tells us lies! Let’s keep feeding ourselves with the truth of God’s Word and rebuke everything contrary to what He says! love you so much
WOW…i love u more everyday….i cant believe that you have been hiding that beauty underneath store bought stuff…you are more beautiful than anything walmart or any other store can sell…i hope God uses me to encourage you everyday…I LOVE U…the end
Awwww! I’m so blessed to have you in my life.
You do encourage me everyday (more than you know) 
I love you Jess! I almost cried while reading this! But like you said I cry a lot these days! I’ve been going through some stuff too and you inspire and keep me encouraged to just focus on God. Your amazing!
You are absolutely beautiful to me an always have been inside an out. I love you with all my heart I have always been so proud of you an jenna ya’ll are beautiful girls god broke the mold when he made the two of you. Always know I love you!